About 9 months ago I fell off the yoga wagon and I fell hard. For almost three years prior to my fall I pretty much lived and breathed yoga. Not only did I have a regular practice, I was teaching yoga, and I loved it. But then, three things happened in my life – – a change occurred at the studio where I taught, I took on a big project at my 9-5 job, and I got the world’s cutest dog.
From the point that I stopped teaching at the studio, my practice slowly dwindle away to no practice at all. I could not believe how easy it was for something that was such a big part of my life for so long sleep so easily away, almost as if it never happened. Wanting to practice was always in the back of mind and it often made it’s way to the front of my mind. I still kept a yoga mat at work, in hopes of going to a lunch time class, which I initially did. My yoga mat at home was tucked away behind a speaker in the lounge in visible sight almost beckoning me to pull it out and use it.
I wanted to practice and wanted to teach even more, but I believed and still believe you cannot teach yoga without your own yoga practice. It’s like asking a doctor, who hasn’t practiced medicine in a long time to suddenly perform a surgery on you. Would you trust that doctor or the one that is regularly in the operating room fine tuning is practice? A bit an extreme comparison, but you get the point. So I continued to not practice and not teach. Yet, I always missed it and thought of the day it would make a regular occurrence in my life once again.
Then there were three things that happened to let the yoga door reopen – – our dog would constantly do her beautiful down dogs in front of me, as if rubbing it in my face, a work colleague asked if I was the yoga teacher teaching at the nearby school, and I passed my children’s yoga teacher training. So maybe Jessie’s down dogs weren’t really opening the door, but it got my yoga mind going again.
Now I am taking baby steps in my relationship with yoga. All it really took was looking at my life from a different angle. I realised that I can use mornings my dog goes to daycare as time for me to do a practice because I don’t need to walk her; on the evenings that it’s not my turn to cook I can spend 2o minutes doing yoga nidra; and if I only spend 10 minutes doing yoga, that is still a yoga practice. These little changes have made a difference. It has only been a few weeks since I have brought yoga back in, but I already feel a change. My knots and tension in my shoulders have subsided, I’m more relaxed and my flexibility is returning. I’m still a ways off from teaching again, but I can see it as the light at the end of the tunnel.
Have you lost your way with a practice? How did you get back onto the wagon with it?